Fanfiction and cocks -- is bigger really better?

[themostepotente]

How many times have you been reading a fic and you're really into it 'n shit and all like -- Yes, yes, YES...NO! Did the writer really just give Snape a 12 inch cock?

A 12 INCH COCK? Halt. Backspace. Put a fork in me, I'm done.

Oh, yes, because offline I've just run into sooo many guys with enormous schlongs. Okay, I understand fanfiction is supposed to have an element of fantasy, but COME THE FUCK ON.

The biggest cock I saw in front of my face (and not at the gay male strip club :P) was about 8 inches. Um, 8 inches is pretty damn big, folks. I cannot fathom what 12 inches up the ass would feel like. The likelihood of it even 'fitting'...

By the same token, I was equally turned off by an author who gave Harry a FOUR inch prick. FOUR? FOUR? Golf anyone? *facepalm*

How could you do that to Harry, man? Okay, now Draco is fair game.

So to all of you writers that mention cock size -- what's reasonable? What's unreasonable?

Who do you give bigger wangs to? Smaller ones?

The average cock size is 4-6 inches. I usually stick between 6-8 inches. And well, since Snape is ugly, dammit, he deserves a bigger cock.

Love to hear from everyone -- especially the guys!

--P

Comments

[dementedsiren.livejournal.com]

Also, the bigger the nose, the bigger the cock, right?

Four? Four? *snickers* Seriously, I tend to shy away from describing exact size. I can't imagine a twelve foot cock fitting anywhere, but if people want to imagine that they can be that big, well, who am I to stop them?

Although... perhaps smut writers should begin putting warnings at the beginning of fics, something to the effect of "Do not try to shove a foot long anything into any bodily orifice without first consulting your healthcare provider"...just to be safe, you know.

[themostepotente.livejournal.com]

Kinda like the 'coffee is fuckin hot, be careful assholes' warning? LOL

[dementedsiren.livejournal.com]

Exactly. Except with more explicit graphics (I'm thinking of the red circle/line thing going around a dildo, personally)

[gmth.livejournal.com]

I can't imagine a twelve foot cock fitting anywhere...

*dies* That's a great typo. ;-)

[dementedsiren.livejournal.com]

Oh shit. Well, you know, if you're gonna thing big, thing BIG.

[dementedsiren.livejournal.com]

Think big. Think. With a K.

Seriously, I just need to stop while I'm ahead, don't I.

[ellensmithee.livejournal.com]

*dies* Best Freudian slip EVA!

[ladyjosephine1.livejournal.com]

A twelve foot cock may not be practical considering it has no chance of fitting in any type of pants, but it sure would be something to see. Honestly, could you really take that thing anywhere? When it goes erect, there's no telling what kind of mayhem that could cause. Seriously. It's actually a very scary thought. That thing could take down a giant just by turning around...and now I'm thinking Hagrid smut. *shivers*

[flimpy.livejournal.com]

AHAHAHAHAHA! I didn't catch that bit o' textual hiccup until others pointed it out, so we're on the same brain wave.

Oh and themostpotente? Along with the Summary Executions, this is the most amusing thing I've read all week :))

[dementedsiren.livejournal.com]

Obviously, some twisted part of us thinks a 12-foot cock is normal.

The FIC! The FIC has taken over my brain! It demands 12 feet to be satisfied and I must comply!

I'm giggling like mad right now.