GPS and Aural Sex!

[themostepotente]

So, $200 bucks and a lot of buyer's remorse later, I bought a Garmin GPS Navigational System for my car. I am pants at directions and am always sent on some errand in the D.

This thing? IS. THE. SHIT.

It basically does everything except cut my meat and wipe my arse for me. Not surprisingly enough, I am charmed by the English accented voice that guides my way :P

It's a pity you can't program voices, though. Alan Rickman. Patrick Stewart. Trent Reznor. Mikhail Baryshnikov. *G*

Whether you own a GPS or not, who would you choose to voice the directions? Who would you not choose? Can be fictional or non-fictional.

--P

Comments

[nasturtium.livejournal.com]

Is it strange that I want Richard Dawkins to read directions to me?

[judas-iscariot.livejournal.com]

No, that was one of my first thoughts too.

[escapisms.livejournal.com]

Neil Gaiman *nodsnods* Or the_oscar_cat.... one of those two. Yes.

[son-of-darkness.livejournal.com]

STEPHEN FRY!!!! :D Or Josh Groban could sing me the directions. ♥

[alysbowie.livejournal.com]

David Bowie could sing my directions anyday :D

[sciencegeek.livejournal.com]

Real people: Alan Rickman, Hugh Laurie, Eddie Izzard, David Tennant, Ewan McGregor, Tim Gunn

Fictional: Rupert Giles, Tosh! (though I suppose Naoko Mori would do, lol)

[gogogrenade.livejournal.com]

John Barrowman (the most innuendo laced directions ever), Rickman, Tennant, Jim Dale, Judy Dench, Hugh Laurie as House so when I turned the wrong way it would insult me.

[gblvr.livejournal.com]

If you have a TomTom, you *can* have Eddie Izzard talking to you -- that's reason I chose a TomTom over the Garmin. ;-)

I would pay a lot of money to have either John Barrowman or Gareth David-Lloyd reading me directions, though. Or David Nykl, with the Czech accent he uses when he plays Zelenka....

[sciencegeek.livejournal.com]

Gareth David-Lloyd is also a good choice. Of course for me, it's a moot point since I don't drive.

[littleroo27.livejournal.com]

the eddie izzard one just isn't clear enough. I have Tom Tom also and currently Darth Vader is my direction giver, lol.

[dragonfly-lily.livejournal.com]

I have one too and I have it set to a NZ accent. I have a real thing for NZ accents.

[mordyn4]

Patrick Stewart, hands down. Although, that might prove dangerously distracting. ;)

Not choose? David Duchovny. I love him, but mumble mumble mumble. :/

[cedarlibrarian.livejournal.com]

Neil Gaiman.

I do own a GPS and it has saved my ass on many an occasion. But alas, it sounds like a bored American lady. Unless I miss my direction and then she sounds annoyed.

[bloopfish.livejournal.com]

I gotta go with my old man love. Definitely Christopher Lee or Ian Mckellen. It'd be like, "Road block .5 miles ahead- YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" lololol

[waxbean.livejournal.com]

I have been considering the garmin nuvi for months now -- did you go with the one that says street names? I think it's called "text-to-speech."

I can't decide.... and since I'm headed to a huge city soon, I'm thinking about the ones that give traffic updates....

I want Obama giving me directions... I'd be so inspired to take that left turn....

[bookofjude.livejournal.com]

Actually, it's physically possible to program voices for it. I imagine you could do it with Alan Rickman or whomever sound snippets, but I'm not sure how natural it would sound...

Of course, they don't generally sound very natural.

Mine's a TomTom, and I will confess to using Jane. But I think Alan Rickman giving directions would be awesome.

[ldybastet.livejournal.com]

I think I'd be very, very distracted if it was Alan Rickman's voice. :D But that would be sweet.

[drusillas-rain.livejournal.com]

I kind of like the idea of Spike (James Marsters from Buffy) giving directions :)

[littleroo27.livejournal.com]

bleeding hell, take a sodding right ahead!

[drusillas-rain.livejournal.com]

*on speeding down freeway*
That’s good pet, just like that, yeah.

^_^

[the-flic.livejournal.com]

It doesn't wipe your arse?? How 2001 it is ;)

I haven't got one since some arsewipe scumbag broke into my car and stole it, but Paddy's is awesome; it's in the voice of the guy from Goodfellas, and says stuff like 'take a left here, you fucking balloonhead' Hahaha.. rickman's voice would be AWESOME though...

[judas-iscariot.livejournal.com]

Neil Gaiman, Richard Dawkins, John Wayne, Edgar Oliver, Johnny Depp, Audrey Hepburn, Jimmy Stewart, Syd Barrett, Randy Travis, Alan Rickman, Keith Richards, and did I mention Edgar Oliver yet?

Of course with Keith Richards, I might not understand a damn thing for very obvious reasons.

I'd be one of those people who changed the voice often, if I could, as I am a music/voice junkie.

[presently.livejournal.com]

I want the TomTom just so I can have Eddie Izzard voice my directions. Trufax.

And I need a GPS for the same reason. I mean, I don't have to run to the D for errands, but I am so bad with directions. I swear to god. WORST evar.

[geoviki.livejournal.com]

I would have Yoshiki using his breathy Engrish voice. I would then promptly drive into a ditch in amazement.

I dreamed of you last night! Well, you and the guinea pig I owned when I was 13, but I don't think you two were connected in any way. And it was raining. Don't try to interpret or you might scare us both. :D

[themostepotente.livejournal.com]

I wanted to come here and answer this, because who-the-hell-knows when my lazy arse will get time to answer this thread, but...

...it's funny you should mention a dream about me. I had a dream about you and Amy over the summer. Of course, my sieve-like mind has forgotten all of the details, but that cracks me up. You know you're really into fandom when you're on the metaphysical side of things with your flist. *G*

And okay, Yoshiki is hawt. Where's he from?

[geoviki.livejournal.com]

He is/was the drummer and pianist for X Japan.

You need to check him out on youtube for the full effect. He's quite the drama queen.