Fandom Discussion: Fumbling Towards Ecstasy -- The Appeal of Awkward and Imperfect Sex

[themostepotente]

I've noticed come fic exchanges or challenges that a lot of people list 'awkward' or 'imperfect' sex as a kink. Since the notion of imperfect sex is less than ideal, I started to wonder why so many of us found this not only appealing, but in some cases, preferred.

For me, it's always been about the realism of the situation. A first time experience is not always going to perfect or even enjoyable. And along with the clumsy boy sex, you have emotion (or lack thereof) partnered with this.

I think that some writers tend to get too caught up in the escapism of the storybook romance. Sure, there are people here for the fantasy aspect, and that should be left to the reader's discretion. I'm not here to dispute that. We like what we like, and I see absolutely no need to apologize for that. But really, when it all boils down to it, I know I would rather read about premature ejaculation, loss of self control, cocks slipping out, painful sex, and sloppy cock sucks.

Since I've been in fandom, I've discovered that stories where one's expectation of a sexual situation or partner falls short of the mark really tend to strike chords with me. There is one such story by icarusancalion where Lucius Malfoy isn't quite the casanova he's made himself out to be. It might not click with a lot of Lucius fans, but it's a touch of brilliance that really accentuates his humanness. (No -- that was not a dig at Lucius either. If anything, it makes me appreciate the character that much more.)

I think for me, half the fun is getting there. It could be Snape tutoring Lupin in the art of tantric sex. It could be Harry taking Draco's virginity. It could be Neville -- shy, sweet Neville -- who knows little at first and slowly becomes a sexual dynamo. The possibilities are limitless. But there is anxiety and over-enthusiasm and really horrific sex, and all I'm saying really is 'it's just a part of life.'

What are everyone else's feelings on awkward and imperfect sex?

Recs about the aforementioned topic are gold, people.

--P

Comments

[pinkdormouse.livejournal.com]

I suspect the appeal is the same as the delight one of my friends got from my telling her that in the novel Richard keeps worrying that Imogen isn't as pretty as her sister was. It's real; it's endearing; it gives character.

I'm writing fewer and fewer stories with sex scenes in them, but I suppose I do make reference to the degree in which the reality has matched up to the ideal when characters think about sex, in the same way I do with anything else. Richard analyses everything, so he's as likely to wonder if he should have done something with those silk scarves over Imogen's bedposts the first time they had sex as he is to wonder how she can cycle while wearing an ankle-length skirt and DMs. Now the tricky bit is getting him to ask her...

Gina

[themostepotente.livejournal.com]

Richard analyses everything, so he's as likely to wonder if he should have done something with those silk scarves over Imogen's bedposts the first time they had sex as he is to wonder how she can cycle while wearing an ankle-length skirt and DMs.

I'd get the hem of the skirt caught in the spoke :P