Fandom Discussion: Fumbling Towards Ecstasy -- The Appeal of Awkward and Imperfect Sex

[themostepotente]

I've noticed come fic exchanges or challenges that a lot of people list 'awkward' or 'imperfect' sex as a kink. Since the notion of imperfect sex is less than ideal, I started to wonder why so many of us found this not only appealing, but in some cases, preferred.

For me, it's always been about the realism of the situation. A first time experience is not always going to perfect or even enjoyable. And along with the clumsy boy sex, you have emotion (or lack thereof) partnered with this.

I think that some writers tend to get too caught up in the escapism of the storybook romance. Sure, there are people here for the fantasy aspect, and that should be left to the reader's discretion. I'm not here to dispute that. We like what we like, and I see absolutely no need to apologize for that. But really, when it all boils down to it, I know I would rather read about premature ejaculation, loss of self control, cocks slipping out, painful sex, and sloppy cock sucks.

Since I've been in fandom, I've discovered that stories where one's expectation of a sexual situation or partner falls short of the mark really tend to strike chords with me. There is one such story by icarusancalion where Lucius Malfoy isn't quite the casanova he's made himself out to be. It might not click with a lot of Lucius fans, but it's a touch of brilliance that really accentuates his humanness. (No -- that was not a dig at Lucius either. If anything, it makes me appreciate the character that much more.)

I think for me, half the fun is getting there. It could be Snape tutoring Lupin in the art of tantric sex. It could be Harry taking Draco's virginity. It could be Neville -- shy, sweet Neville -- who knows little at first and slowly becomes a sexual dynamo. The possibilities are limitless. But there is anxiety and over-enthusiasm and really horrific sex, and all I'm saying really is 'it's just a part of life.'

What are everyone else's feelings on awkward and imperfect sex?

Recs about the aforementioned topic are gold, people.

--P

Comments

[triestine.livejournal.com]

I like it; very few things make me roll my eyes as "virgin turns sex god(des) in a single session", but on the other hand I must admit that persistently awkward sex ("Shattered" being a famous example) makes me shrug just as much. If the story contains more than one encounter, I prefer them to be normal, that is, sometimes more involving, sometimes less, depending on how the characters feel about life at the moment, if that makes sense.

[ook.livejournal.com]

Yes...Nym's Snarry fic "Shattered" is a perfect example of this. I do wish the author would finish revising the story and repost it. :)

[themostepotente.livejournal.com]

You know -- I never read 'Shattered.' I heard it ended horribly. As in a disappointment.

[triestine.livejournal.com]

Well, I read it because it was recommended all over my friends list at the time and I had conflicted feelings over it: I kept reading it because of the quality of writing - an aspect of a story I value above all else, regardless of originality, fandom, pairing, you name it - but I did not like and could not get used to the actual *story*. As for the way it ended, I thought it a brave decision on part of the author to not find a solution that would save the protagonists from their early demise, but what bugged me, really bugged me, was a phenomenon I came across in a number of stories (most notably a Lucius/Hermione one the title of which eludes me now) which goes along the lines of "[character] eases into rape / abusive / dysfunctional relationship and ends up considering it quite normal, even all right". That kind of conclusion just makes me scream "No, no, no!" at the monitor, and, oof, argh. :/