On the subject of Lord Voldemort - Oh, shite!

[themostepotente]

As luck would have it, the members of my dart team read Harry Potter. We had a discussion over beer last night about the Dark Lord, and I've come to this conclusion;

Voldemort is a fucking C-L-O-W-N!

Seriously, I think Lucius Malfoy should shove his incompetent arse to the side. I could really love the character of Lord Voldemort, but I don't like how he's continuously made to look the fool. Harry Potter foils him every single fucking time. Isn't he supposed to be the 'Dark Wizard of a generation?' He's the fucking KMART of evil, I swear. He doesn't even warrant a fucking Super KMART.

Snape betrays him, and no revenge is carried out?

His elitism revolves around 'purebloodedness' (<---is this a word?), and the fucker is a HALFBLOOD himself. Where the fuck is his defense for this?

And why doesn't he just inhabit the body of a woman for his host? I mean, c'mon, a woman would never fuck up this many times :P

I know I'm not the only one that thinks Voldemort is kind of a pussy.

So all of you writers of Voldemort, come and defend your Dark Lord.

Comments

[scarah2.livejournal.com]

There was a topic on HP4GU not too long ago entitled, "Voldemort is the monkey, but who is grinding the organ?"

I don't think I had time to follow much of it, but IIRC Lucius was one suggestion. The subject alone just made me laugh my ass off, though.

[themostepotente.livejournal.com]

Um, I play Lucius Malfoy at that RPG :-)

[lonestarkate.livejournal.com]

1- That was funny.
2- Diet Coke of Evil.
3- w00t to the woman thing. We rule the world, anyway.

You are so cool. :)

[themostepotente.livejournal.com]

Just preaching the Gospel, sistah!

[webbapettigrew.livejournal.com]

Assignment:

Read "Around the House With the Dark Lord"

www.riddikulus.org/authorLinks/Webba

I wholly agree with you on the Voldemort thing. I think that he might have a lot of skeletons in his closet...

[themostepotente.livejournal.com]

Oooh! Linkage! Thankees.

too right - big girl's blouse

[underlucius.livejournal.com]

he does the TYPICAL evil overlord thing every time (thanks to cliqued writing) and has to EXPLAIN his Cunning Plan even though the rest of us Got It in the last 1000 pages thank you very much.

Lucius is the one to watch. Watch my words. Book six? Lucius' big moment. (i can dream)

Re: too right - big girl's blouse

[themostepotente.livejournal.com]

Looshie won't stay in Azkaban long. He has his connections, you see :-)

Re: too right - big girl's blouse

[babycakesin.livejournal.com]

argh, I hate it when bad guys spell it out for the good guys and boom they're defeated!

[artimusdin.livejournal.com]

His elitism revolves around 'purebloodedness' (<---is this a word?), and the fucker is a HALFBLOOD himself. Where the fuck is his defense for this?

*shrugs* What was Hitler's defense for the fact that he himself was quarter-to-a-half Jewish (his grandmother if I remember correctly), and yet he not only persecuted and killed all the Jews he could get his 'hands' on but he was rather militant about pureness of blood for the "superior" race of blue-eyed blonds? There is none, other than pure, unadulterated prejudice and power-hunger for the both of them.

[themostepotente.livejournal.com]

Very good point. Do you like or dislike Voldemort?

[irana.livejournal.com]

Well it doesn't really matter outside the confines of fiction and fanfiction does it? He's not real is he?
I like Snape and I like Lucius. Does that make me evil?

themostepotente I agree. Voldie is a silly, silly man. He's that kind of insane that you feel sorry for, not the insanely scary like Hannibal Lector. But hey, he's good for entertainment value. And I think Fandom writers make him a bit nastier than JKR does, but that's just my opinion.

[artimusdin.livejournal.com]

It honestly depends. I'm mostly neutral in my opinion of him. The books themselves are quite biased in their portrayal of him, not to mention he's most decidedly acting like he was driven insane in the decade and a half when he was formless.

Do I like his actions from before he was defeated the first time? No.

Can I understand his motivations for his anti-muggle rhetoric? Possibly. His background wasn't the best in the world, and I could see Harry himself heading down the same path if he didn't have Voldie to hate and to vow to never be like his enemy. The fact that his "ancestor" AND his new friends/peers at Hogwarts had a similar bias just enforced this hatred.

So yeah, if I like or dislike Voldemort usually (read: always!) depends on the author writing him. *nods*

[themostepotente.livejournal.com]

Another interesting point you bring up about Harry. Where were you for the big Lucius Malfoy discussion, dear?

[artimusdin.livejournal.com]

I think I was out and about recovering from either or both my exams or/and my computer back-stabbing me. It came at a point I wasn't much into any conversations, no matter the topic. ^^; Besides, I don't really read a lot of Lucius fanfics, unless they somehow or other relate to Snape or Harry. I pretty much stick to those two when reading HP fics, if only because I'm a pervy Snarry lover. XD What was the discussion about?

[themostepotente.livejournal.com]

Linkage! (http://www.livejournal.com/users/themostepotente/19185.html)

[artimusdin.livejournal.com]

*scurries off to read and do her thing*

*nods*

[kagyakusha.livejournal.com]

As a Slytherin, I personally think that he has some bloody nerve going around DARING to call himself the heir of Slytherin, considering that his schemes consist of 'wait until end of year, and then...attempt to kill Harry Potter - again.'

Re: *nods*

[frek.livejournal.com]

it's like Pinky and the Brain!!

What are we going to do tomorrow night, Brain?

The same thing we do every night, Pinky, try to take over the world!

Re: *nods*

[themostepotente.livejournal.com]

*rolls* Have you decided who's who?

Re: *nods*

[frek.livejournal.com]

*hmm*

Logic would make Voldemort Brain and Lucius Pinky...

But for some reason it's more amusing the opposite way.

Re: *nods*

[themostepotente.livejournal.com]

It almost smacks of Scooby Doo villainy, doesn't it?

[helenhal.livejournal.com]

And why doesn't he just inhabit the body of a woman for his host? I mean, c'mon, a woman would never fuck up this many times :P

JKR did! [snh snh snh]

Maybe it's still in that backstory we know so little of. At least I'm hoping there's a reason he is feared so much.

[themostepotente.livejournal.com]

I'm hoping myself :-)

[jadarene.livejournal.com]

Your entry made me laugh. Lucius should take over; now there's a sexy villain. But Voldemort doesn't know that Snape betrayed him, correct? I mean, sure at the end of GoF, V says, "One among us..." blah blah blah (too lazy to look it up), but that was only because Snape didn't apparate in. I imagine that when Snape did show, he simply explained to V that he got there as quick as he could being that no one can apparate on or off of Hogwarts grounds. Besides, look how sexy Snape is... who could stay mad at him?

KMart of Evil... Gawd, that's funny. :D

[themostepotente.livejournal.com]

Hey, I just call 'em as I see 'em. LOL!

[jadarene.livejournal.com]

:D

[dementedsiren.livejournal.com]

I'd like to believe that the "new" Voldemort is not improved, but rather severly lacking compared to his former self. If you look at the "activities" that he committed in the past (prior to Harry's surviving AK)they incited a reign of terror pretty much unreviled, and part of that terror was that it was so unpredictable and unforgiving. Now its like Voldie came back with an all consuming grudge, and if you think about it, that makes sense. He spent how many years incorporeal and seething? Probably reliving his first true failure over and over again with incompetants as followers and people betraying his cause right and left while he couldn't do anything? And then to have such an insignificant twit such as Quirrel be his new "host"? I could see how that could drive a formerlly frightening Dark Lord off the deep end into obsessiveness.

As for his timing in attacking Harry? Its crap. So damn predictable, too - like the new recipe for evil. Add in conniving plot to 1 bushle of semi-loyal follors, stir counterclockwise until nice and looming, and then wait until two weeks prior to end of school year to attack. And not only that, but Voldie's tools have been corrupted too - they've gotten used to not following him, and then to have him back in a "diluted" form...not a prescription for pure evil.

Truthfully, I'd like to think that Voldemort will get more "pagetime" and be filled out a bit. Because he does have a lot of potential - the prodigal son gone bad, gone power hungry, gone crazy, gone physically deformed. A story of the price of power. But in JKR's world, as us fic writers know so well, she keeps things very black and white. She needs a mustache twirling villian lurking menacingly in the shadows, his evil cackle echoing into the dreams of the main character. The only room for gray is through subtext, and through other characters (Lucius, Pettigrew - one of the grayest and yet most evil characters out there, the Lestranges, Dumbledore, Sirius even) and even then its downplayed.

So can I say Voldie isn't a pussy? No. Can I say that using what little JKR's given us his character can be filled out into something intriguing by writers willing to try? Yes.

Although, truthfully, I'm a big fan of Harry going evil. Because it'd be so easy. And then I'd like to see how he goes evil, because that could be interesting. Ah well.

/rambling

[themostepotente.livejournal.com]

I'm rather intrigued by the idea of Harry going evil myself.

[minaclare.livejournal.com]

All right... I come in an defend Voldie.

As pointed out above, there's a real life history of people hating what they are. Voldemort probably figures: "If I get enough power, it won't matter what my blood is."

And it worked. Voldemort was clever and persuasive enough to get pureblooded and powerful people from families like the Malfoys and the Blacks. So the guy knows his shit.

He was also able to keep himself alive for ten years without a human body. Then another three years drifting. Even before they realised he was back, the Death Eaters were frightened enough of Voldemort to apparate to the graveyard.

If you really think about it, Voldemort has only been defeated by Harry twice: Halloween, 1981 and in the Graveyard. The second time wasn't so much a "defeat" as Harry got away.

Philosopher's Stone: I chalk this up to Quirrell's mistake. Voldemort was *not* in control of what Quirrell did and there was also the matter of the ancient magic.
Chamber of Secrets: Tom Riddle ISN'T Voldemort, despite claims. Tom Riddle is a sixteen-year-old boy with the skills of a sixteen-year-old.
Prisoner of Azkaban: Not present
Goblet of Fire: Priori Incantato is to blame.
Order of the Phoenix: Dumbledore intervened

As far as I'm concerned, Harry Potter is only alive because of dumb luck. I don't think we've really gotten to see Voldemort really pull out all the stops.

Even if he's not that strong of a wizard, Voldemort's strength isn't that. It's gathering and swaying followers. He's got a dozen Death Eaters we know of who are willing to DIE for him and his cause. To me, that shows a lot of power.

From what I can see, Voldemort's main problem is his overconfidence. He always figures he can take out Harry because he is older and more experience. But because of the prophecy, he's always going to fail.

Lucius Malfoy is great, but he's never going to be as powerful as Voldemort unless he's willing to lose the respectable public face. Maybe now that he's spent some time in Azkaban he'll have the stones.

[themostepotente.livejournal.com]

I will agree to a certain extent about the dumb luck. Harry truly has been lucky. Still, Voldemort has been very careless. 50/50?

[minaclare.livejournal.com]

I will agree to that.

[wikdsushi.livejournal.com]

The problem isn't the character; it's the way the author handles him.

Look at fanfic. We've extrapolated on what JKR has written, and there are any number of authors who've taken a severely flawed villain and made him - with all canon detail intact - into a character capable of anything from giving the willies to causing recurring nightmares. The potential stands for a vicious, ruthless, heartless, power-mad Dark Lord to end all Dark Lords. He can give his lover a tender kiss just before snapping his/her neck. He can kill a child just for being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

JKR, on the other hand, has turned him into an exposition machine. He turns up every book or so, gives a speech and far too much information that really should be shown rather than told, and gets his backside handed to him. Why? Because he's wasted all his energy tying up the plot and trying to be evil in an overt way. Dark Lords are masters of covert evil; that's how they become Dark Lords.

My view of what Voldemort should have done is:

Upon leaving Hogwarts and killing his father, he disappears for a short time to study the Dark Arts. During this time, he also studies his politics. He returns, takes a job with the Ministry, and works his way up - not to Minister of Magic, but to a position like Umbridge's where he wouldn't wield any actual power, though his word would carry significant weight. During this time, he sways the rich, the powerful, and the influential to his side. He studies the Dark Arts at night, and orates, works, and gains trust during the day. Eventually, when he covertly has the wizarding world in his hand anyway, he makes his move as MoM. From there, he sways the rest of the WW with words and obvious actions, all the while gearing up a killing machine unlike anything the world has ever seen before.

In other words, if he wanted the most direct route to scare the pants off people, he should have followed Hitler's model. None of this "vanish for thirty years and come back to toadying followers" nonsense; you've got to work to go down in infamy.

Just to note, Hitler scares the shit out of me. Stalin was horrifying, but Hitler surpasses him in sheer vision and creativity, and that is what makes a dictator go beyond simple evil. Neo-Nazis make me worry about the future of humanity (along with other terrifying groups, including radical religious fundamentalists - another model Voldie could have followed, one that's actually closer to his current mode of action). I love fictional villains, but I'd rather remove real ones from the face of the Earth before they can raze it.

Will shut up now. Not feeling too well, and I'm a bit worried I'm not making my point as clearly as I should.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_hannelore/]

I second this. *tags* Canon Voldemort is an inept kid, but there's so much potential there.

[themostepotente.livejournal.com]

Yes, and that's what I find most sad - that there ispotential, and we are just not seeing it.

[themostepotente.livejournal.com]

You not make your point clear? Ha! If that is your rationalization when you are tired, I can't even imagine the can of whooparse you'd open when you weren't :-)

A very eloquent summary, Sushi.

[ellensmithee.livejournal.com]

Well, canon Voldemort is an incompetent pussy who usually only succeeds through dumb luck or due to Harry's hot-headedness. Still, he lets himself be tricked by children (as does Lucius) again and again.

I've always seen his being a halfblood to be ironic on JKR's part - sort of like that legend (which may or may not be true, but it sounds apocryphal) that Hitler had a Jewish grandmother.

[themostepotente.livejournal.com]

That is entirely possible. JKR does tend to play up irony with her characterizations.

[bloody-american.livejournal.com]

I agree.

His elitism revolves around 'purebloodedness' (<---is this a word?), and the fucker is a HALFBLOOD himself.

Don't know if this has been mentioned but Hitler was a Jew, wasn't he? They've probably got the same fucked up mentality eh? Who knows anyway, they were both crazy. :P

Oh ... just wanted to say "HELL YES!" on the woman thing. :D

[neotoma.livejournal.com]

My main problem is that Voldemort (and most of his followers!) ponce about acting like they're a bunch of Bond villians. Or worse, Dr. Evil.

Why is there only one Death Eater -- Pettigrew -- who kills when it's time to kill, instead of giving a three minute speech which lets the hero slither out of his bonds and scotch the plans?

Really, someone needs to send Voldemort a copy of Top 100 Things I'd Do I Were an Evil Overlord. (http://www.eviloverlord.com/lists/overlord.html)