Sorry, guys...

[themostepotente]

I haven't spoken about my mother's death since last April.

Her estate was finalised this week. My sister sent me a check today. I feel very undeserving of this money even though I have a house I need to maintain. Credit cards I can finally pay off and be rid of. Fuck, even my motorcycle loan.

I should feel elated by all of this, really. Triumphant even.

I don't. It just depresses the shit out of me.

This past year has made me a very different person.

And now there's no going back.

***

I am going to try and get some recs out tonight even though my head is pounding.

--P

Comments

[erastes.livejournal.com]

I know how you feel - it's a horrid mixutre of guilt and all sorts of other conflicting feelings. Just think to yourself that your mother would want you to have it. She would, I am sure. don't blow it all though! *hug hug*

[themostepotente.livejournal.com]

Wouldn't that be a shopping spree! LOL