Movie Reviews (The X-Files IWtB and The Dark Knight)

[themostepotente]

The X-Files: I Want to Believe

The disappointment of the summer. Clearly, Chris Carter has forgotten how to write the type of script that made the television series such a fan favourite. IWtB's plot is so boring that you could tame even the most sleep-deprived of insomniacs. Think I'm kidding? Read on dear moviegoer.

When we next see our heroes, Scully has been working in a Catholic hospital. Instead of battling aliens, she's butting heads with hospital administration over a terminally ill boy's condition. There's really no point at all to this subplot, and Scully behaves as though she's never treated a dying patient before. How long has she been a doctor???

Scully's approached by the FBI and asked to pass a message on to Mulder, who's fallen out of favour and lives in reclusion. Only, his living space is not all that reclusive. He's living with Scully fercrissakes. The FBI never thought to look there??? I should mention at this point that the FBI agents never get any brighter. In fact, the FBI should have filed suit against the writers for portraying their agents as such bumbling idiots.

The FBI are in need of Mulder's expertise to track down one of their missing agents and all will be forgiven if he just comes out of seclusion long enough to help them. Sheah right. Without much persuasion from Scully, Mulder agrees to help.

Enter Father Joe, the paedophilic psychic ex-priest. The Catholics seriously cannot catch a break in this movie :P He leads them straight to a severed arm, and the game is suddenly afoot. What a fucking waste of Billy Connolly's talent. I've loved him since fucking Head of the Class, and he's been reduced to this role?

The plot just never delivers any real suspense or creepiness found in such episodes as 'Home.' You know, the episode in which three physically deformed brothers try and procreate with their mother (barely alive on a gurney wheeled under a bed) to keep the family going. No? Heh. G

There's really no climactic resolution either, and the ending is painfully stupid. One of which, I will not spoil. It was nice to see Skinner, though, in a cameo, but I was seriously pining for the return of the Cigarette Smoking Man. And well, I felt completely robbed of Scully skin. If you're going to see this, I highly recommend the matinee. And a self-flagellation whip to punish yourself afterwards.

Grade: C-

The Dark Knight

I'm probably the only one to have mixed feelings about this movie. I cannot say enough about Heath Ledger's performance, though. He UTTERLY blew Nicholson's clown-faced almost-comedic portrayal out of the fucking water. Ledger's version is grittier and convincingly sadistic, and the trick with the pencil was just really fucking cool. If Ledger doesn't receive a 'Best Actor' Oscar for his showmanship, I will eat my fucking hat.

All of the supporting cast's performances are top-notch, really. Michael Caine's always brilliant, and Morgan Freeman's just a class act. Aaron Eckhart makes the transition from Harvey Dent to Two-Face flawlessly, and Maggie Gyllenhaal's that much better than Katie Holmes from Batman Begins. And hey, it's always nice to see Gary Oldman get work :P

The movie was at least thirty minutes longer than it needed to be, and I found myself shifting uncomfortably, even in my super deluxe chair with ample cushion and Lazy-Boy reclinability. Good thing I opted against the extra large cherry coke.

I wasn't too keen on various parts of the plot. It seemed like a jaunt on X with its ups and downs. The bank robbery was attention getting. The vigilantism was cheese. The Joker's entrance was super fucking schweet. The overseas subplot was meaningless. The action was high adrenaline. The politics were sometimes yawn worthy. And so on and so forth.

By now, you're probably wondering why I haven't mentioned Christian Bale. Admittedly, he's better than any of the previous caped crusaders. I never warmed to Keaton in the role, or George Clooney for that matter. And Val Kilmer made zero sense to me. But given the rest of the cast's performances, I almost forgot that Batman was the fucking protagonist. And what the fuck was up with Bale's frog voice? I almost wanted to toss a bag of throat lozenges at the screen. Totally unnecessary, downright amusing, and never menacing. But hey, the motorcycle more than made up for that silliness.

Plot-wise, I think I enjoyed Batman Begins more. It was the start of a newer, more DC driven franchise. But I am very interested to see where we're taken next. Pity, Ledger won't be along for the ride.

Grade: B+

--P

Next week: Hellboy II: The Golden Army and Wanted.

Comments

[themostepotente.livejournal.com]

It looks like Batman's continuing legacy of revolving-door cast lives on.

I wonder who they'll cast as the new Joker? No one will be able to fill Heath's shoes, man. It will be like trying to replace Brandon Lee in The Crow.