Movie Reviews (The X-Files IWtB and The Dark Knight)

[themostepotente]

The X-Files: I Want to Believe

The disappointment of the summer. Clearly, Chris Carter has forgotten how to write the type of script that made the television series such a fan favourite. IWtB's plot is so boring that you could tame even the most sleep-deprived of insomniacs. Think I'm kidding? Read on dear moviegoer.

When we next see our heroes, Scully has been working in a Catholic hospital. Instead of battling aliens, she's butting heads with hospital administration over a terminally ill boy's condition. There's really no point at all to this subplot, and Scully behaves as though she's never treated a dying patient before. How long has she been a doctor???

Scully's approached by the FBI and asked to pass a message on to Mulder, who's fallen out of favour and lives in reclusion. Only, his living space is not all that reclusive. He's living with Scully fercrissakes. The FBI never thought to look there??? I should mention at this point that the FBI agents never get any brighter. In fact, the FBI should have filed suit against the writers for portraying their agents as such bumbling idiots.

The FBI are in need of Mulder's expertise to track down one of their missing agents and all will be forgiven if he just comes out of seclusion long enough to help them. Sheah right. Without much persuasion from Scully, Mulder agrees to help.

Enter Father Joe, the paedophilic psychic ex-priest. The Catholics seriously cannot catch a break in this movie :P He leads them straight to a severed arm, and the game is suddenly afoot. What a fucking waste of Billy Connolly's talent. I've loved him since fucking Head of the Class, and he's been reduced to this role?

The plot just never delivers any real suspense or creepiness found in such episodes as 'Home.' You know, the episode in which three physically deformed brothers try and procreate with their mother (barely alive on a gurney wheeled under a bed) to keep the family going. No? Heh. G

There's really no climactic resolution either, and the ending is painfully stupid. One of which, I will not spoil. It was nice to see Skinner, though, in a cameo, but I was seriously pining for the return of the Cigarette Smoking Man. And well, I felt completely robbed of Scully skin. If you're going to see this, I highly recommend the matinee. And a self-flagellation whip to punish yourself afterwards.

Grade: C-

The Dark Knight

I'm probably the only one to have mixed feelings about this movie. I cannot say enough about Heath Ledger's performance, though. He UTTERLY blew Nicholson's clown-faced almost-comedic portrayal out of the fucking water. Ledger's version is grittier and convincingly sadistic, and the trick with the pencil was just really fucking cool. If Ledger doesn't receive a 'Best Actor' Oscar for his showmanship, I will eat my fucking hat.

All of the supporting cast's performances are top-notch, really. Michael Caine's always brilliant, and Morgan Freeman's just a class act. Aaron Eckhart makes the transition from Harvey Dent to Two-Face flawlessly, and Maggie Gyllenhaal's that much better than Katie Holmes from Batman Begins. And hey, it's always nice to see Gary Oldman get work :P

The movie was at least thirty minutes longer than it needed to be, and I found myself shifting uncomfortably, even in my super deluxe chair with ample cushion and Lazy-Boy reclinability. Good thing I opted against the extra large cherry coke.

I wasn't too keen on various parts of the plot. It seemed like a jaunt on X with its ups and downs. The bank robbery was attention getting. The vigilantism was cheese. The Joker's entrance was super fucking schweet. The overseas subplot was meaningless. The action was high adrenaline. The politics were sometimes yawn worthy. And so on and so forth.

By now, you're probably wondering why I haven't mentioned Christian Bale. Admittedly, he's better than any of the previous caped crusaders. I never warmed to Keaton in the role, or George Clooney for that matter. And Val Kilmer made zero sense to me. But given the rest of the cast's performances, I almost forgot that Batman was the fucking protagonist. And what the fuck was up with Bale's frog voice? I almost wanted to toss a bag of throat lozenges at the screen. Totally unnecessary, downright amusing, and never menacing. But hey, the motorcycle more than made up for that silliness.

Plot-wise, I think I enjoyed Batman Begins more. It was the start of a newer, more DC driven franchise. But I am very interested to see where we're taken next. Pity, Ledger won't be along for the ride.

Grade: B+

--P

Next week: Hellboy II: The Golden Army and Wanted.

Comments

[coffeejunkii.livejournal.com]

hmm, i really liked the x-files movie, but maybe i watched the show for different reasons than you...i never cared much for the creepy standalone eps and was more invested in the myth arc plus the relationship between mulder and scully.

i think in this movie the plot [which i also found meh, btw] is only a catalyst to the exploration of mulder and scully's relationship as well as their different attitudes towards faith. on that level, i found the film completely satisfying.

[themostepotente.livejournal.com]

Oh, I think we both watched X-Files for the same reasons. I know I watched it because I thought it was cool in that nerdy cultish sorta way. And yes, I did enjoy the creepy standalones moreso than the main arc. Not that I didn't like the main arc, too.

I was just as interested in Mulder and Scully's relationship, but there wasn't much to it in this movie. No sexual tension at all, and there wasn't much feeling. They felt like more of an old, married couple going through the motions to me.

The plot was completely disappointing to me to the point of laughable, and I am a longtime X-Files fan. The whole Frankenstein thing with the Eurotrash docs just...no. This movie could have been so much more and just wans't.

[coffeejunkii.livejournal.com]

there are a few standalone eps i like, but mostly i was like, "get back to the real story!" ;)

hmm, i don't know. i wrote a long review that's mostly about mulder's and scully's relationship, and i particularly liked that the passage of time was clearly palpable in their interactions. it seemed like they were exactly where they should be after these six or so years.

yeah, the plot was like a bad csi episode. i certainly liked the first movie better overall, but man, that movie was so tightly bound up with the show's plot at the time that they couldn't repeat that now, i guess.

[themostepotente.livejournal.com]

I agree. FtF was much, MUCH better.

What is your fave standalone episode?

[coffeejunkii.livejournal.com]

i just watched FTF this weekend and was blown away by how good it looks ten years later.

hmm. *ponders* memento mori is great [although i guess you could count that towards the overall plot]. i just watched dreamland I and II today and laughed a lot. i also like the ep in which mulder and scully pretend to be a couple in suburbia. i haven't seen many of the "freak of the week" eps in years so they aren't at the forefront of my mind--i've only been rewatching the mythology eps in the past few weeks :). which ones do you like?

[themostepotente.livejournal.com]

Home is definitely numero uno. Some of the titles may have slipped my mind, but I enjoyed the one about the sideshow freaks. I did enjoy the one you mentioned about Dana and Fox in the 'burbs, too. Wasn't there a monster that killed suburbanites who violated the good neighbor policy? Definitely the episode where the CSM goes to see Fox's mum and we find out they had an affair. And anything with The Lone Gunmen rocked. It's a pity that spinoff didn't last.

[sbbo.livejournal.com]

X-Files was enjoyable in the way that I like seeing more added to the canon. But it was...I don't think all of that, crammed into a regular episode length, would have made it seem any better. It was slow. Unexcited. Like, the reason someone would go to see it is that it is unabashedly X-Files. But it was watered down.

Batman was enjoyable though. I hate Bale's voice thing, I think it detracts. On the other hand, it doesn't sound the same as his Bruce Wayne voice, and that's about all it really needs to do. I felt like Batman drew out a few things. Like, the over seas trip, I got it. We needed the introduction of the sonar phone thing (though Fox gets to use it and its okay, but Batman using it is wrong?) But introducing it, having Fox go, seeing the information exchange, having Batman kick ass...way too long for what amounted to a bit of foreshadowing. On the one hand, Gyllenhaal was such an improvement over Katie Holmes. On the other, there didn't seem much of a point to switch her out for just one flick. It looks like Batman's continuing legacy of revolving-door cast lives on.

[themostepotente.livejournal.com]

It looks like Batman's continuing legacy of revolving-door cast lives on.

I wonder who they'll cast as the new Joker? No one will be able to fill Heath's shoes, man. It will be like trying to replace Brandon Lee in The Crow.

[alysbowie.livejournal.com]

I haven't seen the X Files film (and probably won't, given the overall poor reviews), but I did finally see the Dark Knight.

Ledger's performance was excellent, and he's by far the most compelling Joker (way better than Nicholson, who was just still too camp to be scary - though my nine yr old self found him scary enough at the time).

Christina Bale was also good, but I didn't like the whole voice distortion as Batman thing either. I'd like to know what particular quirk of the Bat-Suit arranged that little trick....

[themostepotente.livejournal.com]

Every review I read for X-Files: IWtB gave it a C or lower. Wait for it to come out on video. I don't even think I'm going to buy the DVD when it comes out. It was that bad :P

[simons-flower.livejournal.com]

I agreed with you about 90% for both movies.

The X-Files movie would have made a good "monster of the week" episode, as someone else mentioned on my flist, but didn't have a good rhythm to sustain a movie.

The Dark Knight. Heath was amazing in that role, he totally owned it. I didn't mind Christian Bale so much, even the freaky voice, but that's because I find him very easy on the eyes.

[themostepotente.livejournal.com]

I agreed with you about 90% for both movies.

Heh, I should be a movie critic. *G*

[florassecret.livejournal.com]

I totally agree with you on the X-files movie, it sucked monkey balls.
But as a true die XF fan you go see the movie, even if you know the plot would suck. As for the Dark Knight, I rolled over your commentary because I haven't seen it yet. ;)
I hope you are well, I see you've been busy writing and working hard.