Fandom Discussion: Fumbling Towards Ecstasy -- The Appeal of Awkward and Imperfect Sex

[themostepotente]

I've noticed come fic exchanges or challenges that a lot of people list 'awkward' or 'imperfect' sex as a kink. Since the notion of imperfect sex is less than ideal, I started to wonder why so many of us found this not only appealing, but in some cases, preferred.

For me, it's always been about the realism of the situation. A first time experience is not always going to perfect or even enjoyable. And along with the clumsy boy sex, you have emotion (or lack thereof) partnered with this.

I think that some writers tend to get too caught up in the escapism of the storybook romance. Sure, there are people here for the fantasy aspect, and that should be left to the reader's discretion. I'm not here to dispute that. We like what we like, and I see absolutely no need to apologize for that. But really, when it all boils down to it, I know I would rather read about premature ejaculation, loss of self control, cocks slipping out, painful sex, and sloppy cock sucks.

Since I've been in fandom, I've discovered that stories where one's expectation of a sexual situation or partner falls short of the mark really tend to strike chords with me. There is one such story by icarusancalion where Lucius Malfoy isn't quite the casanova he's made himself out to be. It might not click with a lot of Lucius fans, but it's a touch of brilliance that really accentuates his humanness. (No -- that was not a dig at Lucius either. If anything, it makes me appreciate the character that much more.)

I think for me, half the fun is getting there. It could be Snape tutoring Lupin in the art of tantric sex. It could be Harry taking Draco's virginity. It could be Neville -- shy, sweet Neville -- who knows little at first and slowly becomes a sexual dynamo. The possibilities are limitless. But there is anxiety and over-enthusiasm and really horrific sex, and all I'm saying really is 'it's just a part of life.'

What are everyone else's feelings on awkward and imperfect sex?

Recs about the aforementioned topic are gold, people.

--P

Comments

[pen-and-umbra.livejournal.com]

I would say that I like realistic sex, which by definition is imperfect. I like that hair gets caught on stuff and that it might hurt, and the whole sticky mess that sex is -- no boundlessly stretching, self-lubricating anuses or simultaneous orgasms, ugh. Having said that, I will say that this is not bad sex per se, it's just mimicing (or attempting to) sexual acts in real life much better, which is what makes it hot. Imperfect sex is hotter than perfect, IOW; imperfect doesn't mean the act is unsatisfying or anything short of perfect to the participants.

Then sometimes, I can tell that the author is trying too hard to make it imperfect, especially when it comes to emoting mid-coitus. They might stop for a three-paragraph exposition on feelings and how this imperfect sex means that OMG they might not be soulmates and... gah. Then it's girls-with-cocks fucking, not men. Of course, YMMV.

(I really should not be attempting these things before coffee. :P)

[themostepotente.livejournal.com]

Then sometimes, I can tell that the author is trying too hard to make it imperfect, especially when it comes to emoting mid-coitus. They might stop for a three-paragraph exposition on feelings and how this imperfect sex means that OMG they might not be soulmates and... gah. Then it's girls-with-cocks fucking, not men. Of course, YMMV.

I really fucking hate that. And I've noticed it's only with certain pairings. I guess that's why I really enjoy your Snupin. I know far too many Snupin writers that just romanticize the fuck outta that pairing. I hate when chicks write unrealistic man sex, and it's all schmoopy 'n shit. Did I mention I hate that?