Fandom Discussion -- Online Safety

[themostepotente]

This is going to be radically different, I think, from anything I post here.

Some of you may have noticed I have a stalker. This clown I don't perceive as a threat, but there are a lot of scary people out there that would take sending an IM a step further.

Nobody should have to live in fear. Nobody should have to feel like they need to keep their identity hidden to feel safe. It should be a choice 'not' a requirement.

This isn't just about fandom, folks -- this is about keeping safe, so I'm opening up a discussion and encouraging those in fandom to speak up or out, whichever :-)

How much information about yourself is too much to share? When is it okay to trust?

If you have any advice about keeping safe, please come and share it.

If you have a story to tell about being stalked, please, come and share that too.

The holidays are upon us, and some people are especially vulnerable this time of year. And yeah, I know this kinda sounds like a public service announcement, but somebody's advice might save another's life.

Thank you,

--Penny

Comments

[mandrill.livejournal.com]

First off, if you have a stalker, you might want to make some posts Friends Only. Stalkers enjoy reading about how they're affecting your life. BTW themostepotente, if you don't mind me saying so, you have way, way, WAY too much personal information in your User Information page. It's nice to share, but you're making it too easy for unsavory folks.

I've had a couple of stalkers, as well have a number of my friends (one guy developed a crush on a married friend...what was particularly disturbing was that this man was a gun nut and had spoken openly of wanting to "go postal" in his workplace). It's always a poor idea to have your real life information spread around online where just anyone can find it. It's amazing what you can dig up with just someone's domain name and ICQ/AIM/MSN account name, let alone their email address. I cringe whenever I see one of my teenaged online friends openly list their phone numbers in their journals.

Of course, this online information can be turned around and used on your stalker. A man (who went under an assumed name, gender, and identity) was once bothering a friend of mine and with a little poking, I unearthed the man's name, college, graduating class, email, hometown, and fraternity information, even knew his IP log-on domain. Needless to say, the stalker stopped his behavior as soon as he realized we knew exactly who he was in real life. The man left my friend alone but I received reports later on that he still mentions my friend in passing.

Oh...and stalkers are female too. I've had experience with both male and female and I'm still think about them at times. It makes me sad as I'm a person who loves to make new friends and share experiences. Unfortunately, there's always some nutcase who has to spoil things.

I recall some people from the early days of Usenet, whose commentary and posts (on Usenet newsgroups) were always entertaining. As the internet aged, and the 'net users got wackier, these talented people felt so threatened by the negative affections of some lurkers that they deleted all their old Usenet posts (you use to be able to do this, when DejaNews controlled the Usenet archives). Early Usenet history is full of holes because of this. It's very sad. :=(