Needing a bit of advice

[themostepotente]

It's rare that I friendslock.

Rarer still that I ask for advice.

But -- I've a bit of a quandry.

I signed up for merry_smutmas and was very pleased with my assignment. Two years running too -- yay, gmth!

A post on the Smutmas comm advertised a smutty het fic exchange. Het, I know -- I hope I didn't lose your attention.

So, I signed up. I've really been in a mood to try something different, so I said, hey wtf -- why not?

I received my assignment last night. It's not the assignment I have an issue with, but the person I'm supposed to write the fic for.

Both of us have defriended the other as of late. I don't hate nor dislike this person, rather I'm indifferent now. Still, I wonder if I can write this person a fic considering recent events. (There is a bit more I'm not mentioning.)

So -- am I being a big fucking baby? Yes folks, in my journal, I 'encourage' honesty.

Or -- am I justified in my thinking for feeling oh, 'uncomfortable' with my assignment?

Advice is very much appreciated.

Thanks,

--Penny

Comments

[artimusdin.livejournal.com]

Hm, without knowing the backstory between you two, I can't really tell you if you're being a baby or not. However, considering what little I do know it sounds as if you're a bit justified in being reluctant/wary of writing it. However, seeing as how you did voluntarily sign up for it, and it was supposedly a random drawing for names, you still have to write it. *grins* So... well, just deal with it however you need to, put it behind you and then write the best damned story you can. =P

[tarie.livejournal.com]

I don't think you're being a baby at all. If I had an issue with a person and got assigned to write them a fic, I would be hard pressed to find inspiration to write the thing, no matter if it's the pairing I write with the most ease or not! The issues (or non-issues) you have with the person, IMO, could really cloud your work and likely you may not be happy with the end result.

[simons-flower.livejournal.com]

I don't think you're being a baby. I mean, there had to be reasons you defriended this person.

Then comes the question, are you still able to write knowing is it for "X" person? If the pairing isn't the question, but the person, I'd write back to the mod and explain that the pairing is fine, but could you write that pairing for someone else, that there are Issues with the assigned person.

The worst that could happen is that you keep the assignment and totally ignore the person you're writing it for :)

[plausive.livejournal.com]

I would be wigging. Maybe you can ask for a switch?

If not, just remember that more then one person will be reading the fic. It's not really just for them, it's for the whole community. :)

[balfrog.livejournal.com]

i wonder if you could just e-mail the mod and privately/quietly explain that you'd feel more comfortable with someone else.
Not to let it get too much out of hand.
After all, you might as well enjoy what you're doing, and give something you put a lot of heart into.

[lync.livejournal.com]

I don't think you're being a baby at all. Depending on what "went down" (heh) it could make the whole thing more uncomfortable. I'm all for asking for a new partner but that's because I've gone through defriending for various reasons and I'm still irked seeing them around. *shrugs*

[immortalis.livejournal.com]

No, I think you're very justified in feeling uncomfortable with writing it. Maybe you could explain the situation to the mod and they'll change your assignment?

[starrysummer.livejournal.com]

I can understand the way you feel about it. My reaction is pretty similar to what other people have said. I don't think you're overreacting if you have issues with the person. (it seems from what you've said that while you don't hate the person, he/she brings up some unpleasant issues/memories/whatever) I think you should contact the challenge moderator privately and explain the situation, saying that you'd rather not write for your requester, though you're still interested in participating in the fest no matter what. It's possible she's gotten emails from a couple of people who were unhappy with their requests and might want to swap. If she can't switch you around, then just write the fic you want to write for the request, ignoring who it's for. After all, she's not going to be the only person reading this and once you've started, you can try to sepereate the fic from the person who requested it. (after all, if you're the author, it's your fic, not hers)

[caemlyn.livejournal.com]

As I have no idea what's really going on, I'll tell you waht I'd do:

Forget who the fic is for. If you're happy with the assignment, and wanted to strech your talents somewhat, pretend it's for someone else. I don't think you're being a baby, rather that you're stuck on issues that either need to be addressed, or let go of completely. That may sound harsh, but coming from someone who has had two mental breakdowns, it's the best advice I can give.

So, forget about that crap, and focus on the smut. Smut can be helpful in oh, so many ways. :)

[cluegirl.livejournal.com]

You're justified, but you don't have to let that stop you.

Write the story as if you didn't know who the person was, or what they were like. Write the story for its own sake, and stay true to the story you want to tell -- that'll reflect better on you by far than you backing off because you dislike your partner.

And just think -- you just might get a kick ass story to show for it too!

[theladyfeylene.livejournal.com]

I don't think you're being a baby at all. I think I'd be uncomfortable if I was assigned to write for someone I had some sort of issue with, as well. I don't think it would hurt to talk to the mod about maybe getting a different assignment, though. And if you can't get another one, go on with the fic anyway and just not think about who it's for.

[loupgarou1750.livejournal.com]

I can see why you'd be uncomfortable - totally makes sense - and I sincerely doubt you're being a big fucking baby, who wants to give a present to someone s/he's not on good terms with. My suggestion is possibly not going to be very helpful, but why not write a hatefic with that pairing? Revenge is probably not really in the spirit of the season, but it can be so satisfying. *g*

In all seriousness, I don't think it would be unreasonable to go back and say, "I don't want to do this for this person." I think it would be just as reasonable, if you think you can do it, to decide you're writing the fic for the community (really? there's a het community? who knew?)

[lunarennui.livejournal.com]

hahahaha! hatefic! wonderful idea!

I hope this is helpful

[kagyakusha.livejournal.com]

and if it's not I'm sorry, ignore me.

I think that you're justified in feeling uncomfortable, and if you're uncomfortable, it will probably be very difficult to write the fic...is there any way to switch?

Good luck no matter what.

[cranberryink.livejournal.com]

I don't think there's much to feel uncomfortable with. The story is not just for the one person who requested it, it's for the tons of people who are going to be reading the fest. Odds are, this person would have read it even if they hadn't been the one to make the request. So there's not much difference, really.

And while I wouldn't say you're being a baby, I would say that you shouldn't make this out to be more than it is. No need to feed drama.

[gmth.livejournal.com]

OK, this is going to sound hardline, especially in comparison to the other messages of support you've got here, but it's got to be said.

You signed up for the fest knowing you'd be assigned to someone else. It was your responsibility to go back and check the listing of who else had signed up for the fest, and if you had a problem with any of them, to let the mod know BEFORE she went through the hassle of setting up the assignments. I had someone do this with me for Smutmas this year, and it was no big deal, I just made sure she didn't get assigned to that person.

The smutty_claus mod seems like a pretty nice person, so writing to her wouldn't help. However, if she throws her hands up in the air and says, "I can't do anything about it now because it will fuck everything up" (which is what I would say), then IMO, it's you are pretty much obligated to write for whom you were assigned.

You only need to write 1000 words. That'll take you two hours. Can you bite the bullet and do it anyway, for the good of the fest?

[gmth.livejournal.com]

The smutty_claus mod seems like a pretty nice person, so writing to her wouldn't help.

Erm... that should read "writing to her wouldn't HURT." *headdesks*

[tipgardner.livejournal.com]

I throw my vote in with everyone else (I think everyone else). You're not a baby by any means, you might contact the mod if you want. However, if you signed up for an official challenge, it might be good to write it anyway.

Good luck no matter what you decide.

[lunarennui.livejournal.com]

i would privately ask whether you could have your assignment changed for personal reasons.

if not...well, do the best you can to write and not think about who it's for. there's certainly nothing wrong with being uncomfortable about dealing with someone you've decided to cut ties with.

[marksykins.livejournal.com]

Nothing to add. Just... *drive-by hugs*

[ausmac.livejournal.com]

Writing fanfic should be fun. If you can't do it, for whatever reason, don't do it. We do too much in life because we have to. IMHO.

[elucreh.livejournal.com]

Well...honestly, no, I don't think you're being a big baby. Do you know the mods at all? Were it me, I'd find a friend who'd also signed up, ask to trade, and then go to the mods with your explanation and solution.

[kaiz.livejournal.com]

I think it's perfectly reasonable and understandable to feel "Meh" about writing the story 'for' this person now that you've had a falling out with them. But. Even so, I'd just suck it up and write the story anyway. You made a commitment and there are other people besides the recipient who will be looking forward to reading your story. So yeah, despite my feelings, I'd go ahead and write it, regardless.

[moshi.livejournal.com]

Whatever you write, and whoever you write it for, you're going to be getting exposure for your fic. People will be reading it, possibly reccing it. Why not play on that, instead of the recipient in question?

*encourages*

[amanuensis1.livejournal.com]

Not being a baby. And we all need to vent sometimes. (Heck, I need to vent a lot.) But I think you should play the "watch me be the very noble soul" card and write the story for them anyway. It's so very win/win for you, if you do. Everyone will be impressed/pleased that you did not let a personal conflict interfere with an obligation.

[qurinas.livejournal.com]

It appears I will be the dissenting voice. However, I would say that it doesn't really matter who you are writing the story for. Since, in my experience, while you are writing someone's idea, it is really for the whole community to read.

So, if you like the idea given and want to write the fic. Just do it. Ignore who it is for or who's idea it was (unless the situation between the two of you is much worse than you let on and it is impossible for you do get it out of your mind).

That's my 2 cents. :)

[qurinas.livejournal.com]

Hmm...after scanning the res of the comments, by voice wasn't as "dissenting" as I thought. :)

[snapetoy.livejournal.com]

Penny, for what it's worth, I think it's part of the challenge for yourself as a writer. To do the work, to do the work well, and to know that you have faced yourself while doing it would be an achievement worth attaining. It'd haunt me if I let an opportunity like this past - I'd always feel that I'd let myself down, in addition to the extra work for the mod.

Just my five cents worth as we no longer have 2c pieces in Australia.

[anathdemalfoy.livejournal.com]

My honest opinion is, it depends how strong your feelings are. If there is really bad blood between the two of you, I'd consider asking the mod for a switch. If it's just a case of total blank indifference, and the mod says no switching, perhaps you could just do something shortish for the sake of the challenge itself.

Hope this helps.

Love & Serpents' Kisses,
Anath.

[cave-canem.livejournal.com]

This sounds like an incredibly bad situation. I don't think you're being at all unreasonable in the way that you feel about it. I think it's worth writing to the fest mod. Maybe she could put up a "anyone want to swap? Drop a note here" post, and you can swap with someone that way. If there were enough respondents, perhaps there'll be others who want to switch too.

[cnary-crem-dght.livejournal.com]

hmm i'd feel uncomfortable, if it's really bad then definatly request a switch.

but at least you don't have to write a fic with this person *thinks about all the "teamwork" in high school and getting stuck with the class idiot everytime*

so you could write it as if your challenging yourself. (as many others have stated before me.)

[thetreacletart.livejournal.com]

That's a tough call.

I know the mature answer is to be the better person and do it anyway, but let's be honest - do you think the other person would write a fic for you?

If you like the challenge and feel it would be something you would be interested in writing, then do it. If you are really that unsure about it, ask to change with someone else. It's early enough that you should be able to.

Good luck either way.