themostepotente | Objet d'Art (Snape/Black -- NC-17)

[[I think I may have found my niche in fandom.

chaos_rose paid me two of the nicest compliments.]]

Title: Objet d'Art
Pairing: Snape/Black
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Sirius is a piece of art in a Live Art exhibit -- Severus is an art connoisseur.
Kinks: Mutual wanking, snarking galore
Disclaimer: Oh, so not mine. This market's been cornered.
A/N: This is for

switchknife who requested Snack with chains when I mentioned I loved being a porny link in the

pornish_pixies chain.

Betaed by

cawti and

cave_canem. Invaluable advice from

cluegirl,

essayel, and

isiscolo. And finally a shout out to

fabularasa for the lovely email concerning future Snack betas.

Additional comments found here.

It was a beautiful Saturday afternoon in Soho, practically the last place anyone would expect to see a wizard, particularly Severus Snape. Popular subculture known as 'punk' had taken Muggle London by storm -- and Snape's mode of dress was just enough out of place to look ahead of his time fashion-wise. Some would argue, however, that Snape wore attitude better than any punk wore leather and safety pins.

Snape knew that Lucius Malfoy would be angry with him. An acolyte of the Dark Lord was not to travel Muggle London alone, but in the custody of an older, more experienced wizard. Self-preservation, however, was no more than a flick of the wrist away for Snape. From inside his billowing sleeve, he positioned his wand to zap passersby unknowingly. Not with anything deadly, mind you, just a spell here and there to flatten mohawks or untie combat boot laces.

It wasn't so bad a punishment, really. And if caught, the punishment wouldn't be unbearable -- only Lucius' cane on his backside. The thought of icing his buttocks made him shiver, but it was a small price to pay for an afternoon of gallery browsing. His favourite was hosting a 'Live Art' exhibit, and Severus Snape never turned down an opportunity to ogle the naked form of a starving artist. It was, perhaps, rotten luck that this exhibit was 'invitation only,' but Snape was very persuasive with twelve inches - twelve inches of manchineel wood, that is.

Avant-garde art was very popular with the nouveau riche. Even for such a dodgy area, the young and the independently wealthy would brave the panhandlers and the sleazy looking sorts that accompanied the fetish clubs.

These artists were quite clever in their expression. There was a Pieta with a prostitute and plastic toy. A pretty Japanese woman invited gallery browsers to cut a piece of cloth from her robe and take it home as a souvenir. And still another artist that sat atop a wooden stepladder holding a sign that read 'Top of the Food Chain.'

No sooner had Snape made his rounds than he noticed the last piece on display. He lowered his hood for a better look, absolutely beside himself with amusement. The name of the piece was titled 'Man's Best Friend.' Ordinarily, Snape probably wouldn't have found this so amusing. The fact that it mumbled 'shite' under its breath or that said obscenity was uttered from Sirius Black's lips - now that was bloody sidesplitting.

"Black, now this is a surprise." Snape plucked the card marked 'asking price' from the Roman column next to Sirius, turning it around and reading aloud. "Make me an offer?" Seizing a ballpoint pen from behind a patron's ear, Snape wrote down a very unflattering figure, showing it to Sirius with a dingy-toothed smirk.

"What the fuck are you doing here, Snivelly?" Sirius ripped the card from Snape's hands, snarling. "This is for charity."

"Oh, I was being charitable," Snape said, averting his gaze downward, "all things considering."

"You're the last person I expected to see here," Sirius said with a growl.

Snape took a few steps forward, narrowing the distance between them. "Don't tell me that this is your best kept secret, Black?" The sallow man ran his finger up the chain seductively, looping it through the eye attached to Sirius' collar. "Whoring for attention?"

Sirius lunged at Snape, advancing on him with a running start until the tether pulled taut, yanking him back.

Snape tsked. "Now what would Potter say? Oh, that's right. Probably not much at all. He's been keeping company with Evans these days." Snape didn't wait for a reply from Sirius. "It must pain you to know that he slips from your bed to finish out the night with her. Or perhaps," Snape paused, licking his bottom lip, "he sullies himself with her first. Can you taste her on his cock?"

"I'm very happy for James." But the bulge in Sirius' throat betrayed his words.

"Oh, I'm very sure. About as happy as I am for Lucius and Narcissa. At least I know her 'performance' pales in comparison. Tell me, do all Blacks just lie there and take it? Are you a deadfuck as well?"

Sirius snorted his reproval. "Since we're 'sharing,' Snivelly, my address book boasts over one-hundred conquests. I defy you to find a past lover of mine that wouldn't bow in my presence."

"Oh, and I suppose the term 'Little Black Book' was made famous at your insistence?" Snape rolled his eyes, shaking his head in disbelief.

"Something like that." Sirius made a show of brushing away non-existent dust particles from his unclothed arm.

"You are a shallow fuck, Black. One who is good at neither keeping secrets or hiding his feelings." Snape snapped his fingers to usher over a gallery attendant. "Shall we take up this conversation in private?"

"I'm not going anywhere with you, Snivelly. Now walk your arse out of that door and forget you ever saw me today."

"Hush you. Art isn't supposed to prattle incessantly." Snape held a hand up to quiet the protesting Black while he spoke to the excitable young man. "I understand you have an 'Appreciation Room' for private viewing?" he asked with a crooked grin.

"Of course, sir."

"Excellent. Ready this piece for me, and-" Snape's smile widened, handing the attendant a fifty pound note he'd transfigured earlier, "see that he shuts up."

"Right away, sir," the attendant said with glee, calculating his commission silently.

Sirius glowered at Snape as he was led away by the chain attached to his collar.

Snape followed about twenty paces behind, the Daily Prophet tucked under an arm. He waited just outside the door until he was cued to enter. Snape posted a 'Do Not Disturb' sign on the door, closing it behind him. He was delighted to find Sirius immaculate and wearing a forced smile. Crossing to him, Snape shucked his outer and dress robes letting them trail behind him. He openly laughed when Sirius turned his head.

"You fucking hypocrite. The human body is only art when it's pleasing to the eye? You may look away Black, but your cock doesn't quite understand aesthetics." Snape followed up the insult with a swat to Sirius' arse. The swat stung sweetly, leaving newspaper print in its wake.

Sirius sucked in the saliva through the gaps in his bared teeth, turning his head slowly to face Snape. "I wouldn't fuck you with Malfoy's cock!"

"I wouldn't allow you to fuck me with anyone's cock, Black," Snape sneered, grabbing hold of Sirius' chain and reeling him in. "However," Snape said, clamping down on Sirius' shoulder, "I'm not opposed to giving the poor dog a bone of my own."

"Nasty fucking Deatheater," Sirius hissed, eyeing the Dark Mark burned into Snape's pale, skinny arm. "You like to strike from the shadows, because it's what you're best at. Plants wither at your passing, and people sicken at your touch. I'm only doing this to get back at James."

"And the other half," Snape continued, "is animal logic - particularly the logic of cats and dogs. I, the cat, choose discriminately, while you, the dog, partake of anything placed before you." Snape pressed for another bite, but he was pushed away by Sirius disgustedly.

"Let's you and I go over the 'Politics of Kissing,' Snivelly. With you -- I just don't. Your lips touch no part of my body. I can't even fathom why you'd want to kiss me, knowing I hate your fucking guts."

"Very well," Snape said with a laugh. "I could take it or leave it."

Snape plucked the chain from Sirius' grasp, binding his arms with several rotations. It trapped his cock between his thighs, preventing the elevation of his strengthening erection. Snape snaked the cold chain links down the cleft of Sirius' arse, pressing the beginning link into his tightness. "You like that, don't you Black?"

Sirius said nothing. Snape hadn't paid for any more than his body. And that was all he'd get.

"Art should be functional as well as eye pleasing, wouldn't you agree? On second thought-" Snape said indecisively, uncoiling the chain from around Sirius and extending it until it pulled at his collar.

"Functional, Snivelly?" He grasped the chain with both hands in order to prevent his choking.

"Yes - like a painting is complimentary to a room. A statue to a shrine. Convince me you're functional, Black, and I shall make you an offer you cannot refuse."

"You mean the one besides occupying the corner of your roach-infested flat?" Sirius snorted. "I'm bored stiff so I'll bite. How would I go about convincing you?"

"Interesting choice of words, Black. We've hardly traded insults and all ready you've an erection. Pity to let it go to waste. No telling when I'll see that smiling face of yours again." Snape paused a moment as if it was meant deliberately. "Wank for me."

But Sirius was far from smiling. "Wank for you? Merlin, you make my skin crawl!"

"Those are only your fleas, you mangy cur," Snape sneered. "Well? I hardly think you require a demonstration."

"I'm thinking," Sirius snapped.

"Think a little faster. There are other pieces to consider." Snape tapped his foot in annoyance.

"Just like old times then, eh Snivelly?"

"Only if the reverse were true. You and your pathetic friends - four against one. Forcing me to masturbate after having taken what little pocket money I carried."

"So this is about revenge?"

"Oh no, Black - if this was revenge, you wouldn't see it coming," Snape smiled. "We strike from the shadows, remember? How quickly you forget."

Sirius could scarcely believe he was considering this. He drummed his fingers on his inner thigh, his thumb just inches away from his cock. There was something about the release of sexual tension when angry that made his whole body tingle. He'd grudgefucked Pettigrew before. Peter was just as insufferable -- clingy and desperate for attention. Snape was a different breed of pathetic, but how was this any different? It wasn't, he reasoned simply, and Merlin if he wasn't a capped teapot ready to blow. His hand hovered over his cock, the longish nails of his right hand grazing his shaft in a pendulous swing.

"That's it Black, a little closer and you may actually come," Snape said snidely. But he didn't stop there. He went on to taunt him. "Can you feel it? Dripping down your hands - warm and sticky. Can you taste it?"

That was the straw that broke the hippogriff's back. Sirius grabbed his cock in an angry chokehold. He said nothing in response, his eyes fixed on the naked figure before him.

"No?" Snape smiled, running his tongue over his front four teeth. He yanked the chain on Sirius, upsetting his hand stroke. "Because I can."

Sirius growled, jerked forward unexpectedly. "I hate your fucking guts, Snivellus!"

"Likewise," Snape said coolly, passing the chain on to his other hand to grip his cock with the stronger, dominant hand. "I don't suppose you've noticed my cock's bigger than yours - longer, thicker."

"I'm not looking at your cock," Sirius said calmly. "In fact, I'm not looking at you at all. I'm going to close my eyes and imagine-"

"Whitley Whipple?" Snape said with an amused smirk.

This struck a nerve with Sirius. He had a stranglehold on his cock otherwise meant for Snape's scrawny neck. "She was the easiest lay in Slytherin House, and you ruined it for me - turning my hair green!"

Snape laughed, throwing his head back in remembrance. "If memory serves, she was quite pleased with your show of House spirit." Slowly he tilted his head forward again, finding Sirius' eyes shut tightly. "Oh, I did you a favour, Black. Whipple's legs were so often apart; they could've been pen pals. I saved you from a nasty infection."

Sirius cracked open an eye to find Snape stroking himself between his middle and index fingers. Leisurely and gentle, not hastily and rough, unlike his own strokes. He felt a rumbling in his balls, and a sickening heat trickle down the cleft of his arse. That slimy bastard was turning him on.

"Render you speechless, Black?" Snape said, tugging on the chain again to get Black's attention. "Or did the tingle in your arsehole break your concentration?" The seemingly cool exterior of Snape was nothing more than a farce. He too, was dying inside. Dying to bend Black over the nearest chaise lounge and fuck him senseless.

"You've enough sex appeal to fill a thimble - halfway," Sirius managed shakily. The edge of his palm collided with his ball sac over and over - pain the only penance he'd ever need. Each strike threatened to bring him crashing down upon his knees.

"Whitley Whipple, Sadie Sweetwater, Beatrix Buttermaker - you had the most gifted talent for picking the homeliest girls with the silliest names to screw." Snape had a dreamy look in his eyes; visualizing the hand on his cock to be Black's mouth, soft lips tightly wrapped and gagging on every inch. "And open your eyes, Black, or so help me Merlin, I'll hex them open permanently."

Sirius' eyes snapped open, glaring at Snape. How he wanted to kill him - only first after making him pay on all fours with back arched like a bitch in heat. "Nothing a Honeyduke's bag with holes cut out for the eyes wouldn't cure, Snape." Sirius paused a moment, stroking faster. The thought of Snape's tight arsehole fueled his hatred - wanting nothing more than to ram his unslicked cock clean through the other side of him, dully, like the blade of a rusty sword through the belly of an enemy. "And it wasn't their names," Sirius gasped, "that I wanted to fuck."

"Mmm, you're close, Black. I can taste it -- hot and creamy down my throat." Snape pressed his fingertips into the holes of the chain links, feeling around for burrs with which to prick his fingers. He wanted to bleed the thoughts of Black out of his body.

"And you're not close enough," Sirius said weakly. "Do you recall the time we dumped an inkwell into your tea, Snivelly?"

"That charmed ink made my teeth black for a week," Snape snarled, teetering on the edge of orgasm.

"We thought it a vast improvement over the yellow. Dingy teeth, greasy hair - afraid of water, Sn-." Like a speeding locomotive, he found he couldn't stop himself. "Coming," Sirius cried softly, falling victim to his own cruelty. Come spurted through the cracks in his fingers, wetting a trail that led to Snape.

"What was that, Black?" Snape said faintly. "Didn't…quite…hear…" The chain rolled from Snape's grasp with the plying of uncurling fingers. It fell to the floor with an unsettling rattle as Snape came, spattering the tops of his feet and filling the cracks between his bony toes.

Sirius somehow managed to stagger over to Snape, breathless. He leaned forward to whisper in Snape's ear. "I still hate you."

"You've said that all ready," Snape answered, rubbing his waning erection on Sirius' thigh.

Their lips were dangerously close, both men half dazed from the afterglow. The moment, however, was broken by an icy voice behind them.

"And just which of you is the dog here?" It was Lucius Malfoy, and he looked none too pleased, Snape's 'Do Not Disturb' sign pinched between his gloved fingers. He parted Black and Snape with the shaft of his cane.

"Lucius, I-"

"Can explain? Don't bother. I leave you to run errands and find you here…sullying yourself with my…family." Lucius made the term sound obscene. "Have you no dignity? Have you no shame?"

Snape said nothing, wincing at the prospect of ten strokes on his backside. Macnair thought nothing of using a bladed lash.

"Well, gentlemen," Sirius said, not wanting to stick around for Snape's punishment, "I'll just be on my way."

"Not so fast, Black." Lucius held up his bill of receipt. "You're coming home with us."

"Over my dead body!" Sirius protested.

Lucius withdrew his wand, training it on Sirius. "How should you like to die, relation of mine?"

Sirius froze in his tracks until Snape was the focus of Lucius' attention.

"I'm greatly displeased with you now, Severus, but that hasn't stopped me from wishing you a happy twentieth birthday." Lucius tapped his cheek for a kiss.

Snape pressed his lips to Lucius' cheek gently. "Thank you, Lucius."

"No thanks are necessary, Severus." But something about that gleam in his eye said otherwise.

"You'll just be warming his bed like the obedient whore that you are, Snivelly."

"Actually, he won't," Lucius said, poking Sirius' Adam's apple with the tip of his wand. He'll be staying in the doghouse tonight and every night this week with his new toy."

"That doesn't sound like much of a punishment, Lucius," Sirius smirked. "Or haven't you taken a good, hard look at his come and sweat-stained body?"

Lucius pressed the tip of his wand harder against the protrusion. "Not unless I give Severus his wand and insist he hex you into the ages, Black."

Snape wanted to laugh, but that would prove a mistake.

"You," Lucius barked at Snape, "pick up that chain and both of you out of my sight."

"Aren't I allowed my one firecall?" Sirius asked sarcastically, his situation grim.

Lucius didn't answer, busily collecting his 'certificate of authenticity' from the dealer. "Sorry about the state of the room," Lucius said, compensating him for the troubles of cleaning.

Sirius sighed as Snape pulled him along - an unwilling member of a one-man chain gang. I should have called in sick today, he thought miserably.

Fin