Fanfiction and cocks -- is bigger really better?

[themostepotente]

How many times have you been reading a fic and you're really into it 'n shit and all like -- Yes, yes, YES...NO! Did the writer really just give Snape a 12 inch cock?

A 12 INCH COCK? Halt. Backspace. Put a fork in me, I'm done.

Oh, yes, because offline I've just run into sooo many guys with enormous schlongs. Okay, I understand fanfiction is supposed to have an element of fantasy, but COME THE FUCK ON.

The biggest cock I saw in front of my face (and not at the gay male strip club :P) was about 8 inches. Um, 8 inches is pretty damn big, folks. I cannot fathom what 12 inches up the ass would feel like. The likelihood of it even 'fitting'...

By the same token, I was equally turned off by an author who gave Harry a FOUR inch prick. FOUR? FOUR? Golf anyone? *facepalm*

How could you do that to Harry, man? Okay, now Draco is fair game.

So to all of you writers that mention cock size -- what's reasonable? What's unreasonable?

Who do you give bigger wangs to? Smaller ones?

The average cock size is 4-6 inches. I usually stick between 6-8 inches. And well, since Snape is ugly, dammit, he deserves a bigger cock.

Love to hear from everyone -- especially the guys!

--P

Comments

[elsajeni-fic.livejournal.com]

I, like pretty much everyone else who's commented, don't like very specific penis descriptions. Basically, the more specific the description, the clearer a mental image of the penis in question I have, and the clearer my mental image of the penis is, the more likely I am to snicker immaturely instead of carrying on enjoying the porn. (Yes, I have been accused of being a 12-year-old boy.) I think this might be partly because I often don't have particularly clear images of, for instance, the character's faces-- I know what they look like generally, but the only really detailed images I could come up with would be the actors, and that creeps me out slightly. So basically, I've got this very general image... with an extremely detailed penis. Hence the snickering.

[aubrem.livejournal.com]

I admit I like penis descriptions. I just plain like penises. (penii?). I like to hear purple and huge and thick and all that. : )

Still, actual numbers kind of throw you out of the story as does something ridiculously big.

And I agree, Snape deserves a big cock. Er, and I mean that both ways.

[frau-r.livejournal.com]

I like a good big cock (who doesn't?), but there is such a thing as overdoing it. It doesn't have to be elephantine or grossly out of proportion. Also, I tend to find thickness and good shape more important than the length.

I haven't written public smut yet, but if I did, I probably would use description instead of exact numbers.

[ladyflowdi.livejournal.com]

In my head, my Snape!Muse is glowering at everyone talking about his cock like it's the catch of the day. "This one here is less than a foot long! Throw it back!" ::big grin:: I won't even go into what he said when you called hum ugly, it could peel the paint from the walls.

I agree with everyone--specific numbers in fiction can get annoying, though I have read where it's used as a plot device and done very, very nicely. I read one not long ago where Severus was watching himself slide inside Harry's body and clinically counting off the inches in his head to keep from coming, and well, that was really sexy. Other than that, no. I'd rather not hear about penis size. A bit of descritption, yes. Anything else? No.

As for specific lengths, I wouldnt know...okay, hell, yes I would. I'm a smut writer, after all.

In my head Severus is about 8, Remus about the same, Sirius a little shorter than that. Harry (because of his compact build) is between 5-7, though I always lean him to about six if I'm feeling generous. The Malfoys are long and thin, and the Weasleys are usually shorter but much more gifted in girth. Especially the twins. As someone said upthread, it all depends on the size of the man.

[the-gentleman.livejournal.com]

Hmm. I just describe their John Thomas, rather than the length of their wife/hubbie's best friend. Tom Riddle has a smooth, pallid one-eyed basilisk. Post-war Moody has a rather dark, grizzly todger. Sirius's piece of pork is "not particularly large, more swagger and balls than anything else, and dark, as if it had been tanned and leathered." Dumbledore's is pretty big, and more long than broad. Percy's percy is obviously much the same, but younger, and less wrinkled and grey at the base.



And Peter Pettigrew has a 12-inch, majestic slab of horse-cock.

He keeps it in a jar.

[huntress1013.livejournal.com]

There is really no need to write into a story how big the cock really is *_* It would turn me off. Dunno. As long as the two guys have a lot of fun it doesn't really matter if the cock is 6, 7 or 8 inches long. Really

[syndarys.livejournal.com]

*falls over* Oh my god... 12 inches? O.O Yikes... that SO does not sound like fun... maybe they were just making up for the lack of girth... :P

*grabs a 12" ruler* *tilts head to one side* is that, like... even physically possible? O.o; That's just... O.O

I dont even mention the size of cocks in my fics... I admit, I dont write much NC-17 (more of a steady R-rated writer myself :P), but it doesnt seem like the thing to include really... like, "Oh, and by the way, his cock is 6 inches long, incase you wanted to know." WTF? Kinda kills the mood, dontcha think? O.o;

[christiangirls.livejournal.com]

HAHAHAHAHfdjlkgd! You fucking Goddess. :))

[biichan.livejournal.com]

Mad-Eye Moody has horse-cock. (Not twelve inches. But big.) Petter Pettigrew is short and thick. Snape's prick is as sallow as the rest of him. Draco's is petite and pink.

I could go on...

[kyuuketsukirui.livejournal.com]

I cannot fathom what 12 inches up the ass would feel like. The likelihood of it even 'fitting'...

It would fit up the ass easier than it would fit up a cunt. I mean, people can stick their arms up their to the elbow. I don't know where it goes (and it creeps me out a bit thinking on it, because surely that must be moving your organs about in there...), but it's possible.

Me, the only time I've seen cock sizes listed in fic was when reading gay porn on Nifty, and that stuff is all wretchedly bad and laughable anyway, so the sizes are just one more thing to laugh at.

[shocolate.livejournal.com]

I would never even mention inches - surely it is what they do with it that matters ?? OK, in shlash I suppose bigger is scarier, but in het, well, if a baby can come out, then a cock can go in - and once it is in, well, you can't even tell it's there unless they do something creative with it !

[black-dog.livejournal.com]

I agree that mentioning a specific number of inches sounds clinical and obsessive. But I'm all for standards, and feel strongly that the basic distinctions between "big," "average," and "small" should be preserved! At the risk of TMI, I would say that in RL I like variety, but the variety is real, too.

Does size matter? Well, the interesting question is maybe whether it matters to the characters themselves. There's a difference in character between a Draco who is shy in the shower and one who loves showing it off. And big-hands!Ron is a slacker with hidden depths, but there's also a type of big tall red-haired guy with a penis like an afterthought, and maybe Ron's insecurities go all the way down. Yeah, it's immature, but after all, these characters are all figuring out what it all means, anyway.

I don't have a fixed sense of the endowment of the HP characters. I admit, in my head, I try different ones on them at different times. :)

[kaflower.livejournal.com]

Well...*ahem*...while having a nice, big ride *would* be nice, it is disturbing that an author would put that much *detail* into something. It should be about the visual, not the *VISUAL*, if you get my drift. Therefore, I am in agreement with you -- once the author has crossed that line, stick a fork in it, cause it's done.

BTW, 6-8 inches is okay...Snape does deserve a bigger one ;-)
Voldemort, not Harry deserves a whomping 2 inches (although, being evil and with many...interesting experiments under his belt, he could possibly have a good twelve inches on someone).
Harry...give him six. Heros have to have *something* to live by after they have vanquished evil.

A personal note: I love your tongue-in-cheek humor -- I could not stop cracking up all afternoon.

[rosefyre.livejournal.com]

Here through quickquote. Have friended you, because you always have the most interesting discussions and questions. (In case you need to know for any locked stuff, I am over 18 and love to read pretty much everything.)

I've never written porn involving men...in fact, I've barely started writing femmeslash, and I haven't posted any yet. Agreed that when reading, giving numbers is just...urgh, though I don't mind if there's a tastefully done comparison scene - maeglinyedi wrote a very good one in one of her fics - where inches may or may not be mentioned, but the lengths are compared.

12 inches up either the ass or the cunt? *shudders* I don't want to imagine that, thank you very much. Nor do I want to write it. 12 inches down the throat doesn't sound so pleasant either, speaking of sizes.

Of course, I'm a virgin, and I've never actually seen a cock (well, I may have when I was younger than 5, but if so, that doesn't count), so writing sizes in would just feel weird to me.

Another annoying anatomy bit: when girls have huge chests. People, not everyone wears a 32 EEE. Unless, you know, they all have implants. A B or a C is far more normal, and that's how I've thought of my characters in specific stories...though I'm not going to write the chest size during a sex scene. Maybe in a discussion about sharing bras, but not during the sex.

I can't tell you how I really imagine most of the cocks of the male characters, though they're all at least average. Ron is bigger than Harry, just because he's so tall, and Draco's just average, though he pretends he's longer. Crabbe and Goyle have relatively short ones, though. However, if a writer can convince me otherwise, I'm willing to imagine guys as big or small or average...and have complete fun reading the porn.

For girls, I can tell you how I imagine chest sizes, though I'm not sure if you're interested or not.

Wow, I wrote a long comment...

[tarotgoddess108.livejournal.com]

ahem
Now Hagrid might actually have a 12 inch cock.

[carinn.livejournal.com]

i found this through the lj comm="quick_quote">

i think that Size matters not, the motion of the ocean is what matters. giving an exact measurement is a turnoff. i prefer to have a vague yet accurate description.

i think that Sirius, Severus and Remus would all have penises that are 6.5-8 inches long... just *SOMEWHERE* in that range... Remus' would be kinda thicker and a bit on the 6.5" to 7" area, while Sirius and Severus would have longer ones with less really thickness..

I friended you, ^_^ i love discussions...

TMI

[chrome-animagus.livejournal.com]

I usually don't mention an actual length when I'm writing, because what's large to me, may not be large to you in actual inches, but if I say it's large then we're both happy.

And I have seen 12 inch cocks. Face to face as it were. I sent him home with a handjob because... no. I'm not a masochist.