Dude! You came this close to owing me a new keyboard! Although I suppose the lawyers for the defense would say that one mustn't eat soup while reading Snack.

I adore how disdainful Snape is, even trussed up and at a disadvantage, and how cleverly he takes charge and manipulates Sirius into licking his cock. (Also the Snape-designed magical dildo, a.k.a. penile Simulacrum, is such a Slytherin contraption. "Don't ask. Don't tell." Hah! It sounds like he's giving them a sales pitch.)

Snape's put-down of Peter is priceless, although no contest, really. Even under duress, he skewers them all. It's like watching a champion duel with one hand tied behind his back.

"It means cowardly, Black. And someone," Snape said, turning The Nose up at Potter, "should back away from the dictionary." Dear god, your Snape voice is infallible.

Then the line that nearly ended my keyboard's life:

"Cor," James snorted, poking Snape's cock with the tip of his wand. "Stays crunchy, even in milk."

Yes, I am eight years old. *snort* What can I say? I wasn't expecting it.

The image of Snape and Black being toted into the infirmary to be "disengaged" is emblazoned on my memory now. And all the staring faces pressed to the window. Along with the profound ricochet I imagine for Snape's erection as it bounces back and bops Sirius smartly in the eye.

Oh, my dear, how you make me howl smile.