Fanfiction and anal sex and lubrication: To Spell or Not to Spell

[themostepotente]

That is the question, folks!

When writing anal scenes (and no, this is NOT limited to male/male slash), do you prefer a nice lubrication spell, or does your preference run with something more creative in the way of commercial lubricants?

What's the strangest item you've used as a substitute for a lubricant?

Have you ever written fics with lubricated condoms?

Have you ever written fics with no lubrication whatsoever in say a non-con scenario?

Finally, anything else you'd like to add on the topic?

Let's hear what you have to say!

--P

Comments

[themostepotente.livejournal.com]

Hey Mort -- is Snapey a Trojan man? LOL!

[mortifyd.livejournal.com]

Not in my universe...*snicker*

But I was thinking - far too late in the night, which is always a dangerous thing, frankly, and it occurred to me - could the "objection" so many readers seem to have to lubrication spells be because we think like Muggles?

Wizards use magic to both make things more convenient for themselves (packing spells, lifting objects, cooking) and for no apparent reason - why in Merlin's name would you NEED to transform an animal into a water goblet? Or a hedgehog into a pincushion? Padma Patil was doing a bit of stiching by the lake and realised she had no pincusion. Rather than stick the needle through the hem of her robe until she could put it away, she Accio'd a hedgehog and transfigured it. A totally random example, but WTF?

So, tell me then, why wouldn't some horny wizard invent a lubrication spell? That would seem to me one of those things that are passed from older boys to younger in the dark of night with lots of giggling and testotserone stupidity... but then I was a teenage boy. *grin*

[conversant.livejournal.com]

I agree that lubrication spells are likely to have been invented in just that sort of way -- and I like the idea that they'd be part of the coming of age lore that gets passed on from year to year. (Perhaps there's a manual about these things that resides in the 4th year boys dormitory in each of the houses (except in Ravenclaw where it's in the 6th year dormitory because they're too swotty to notice their hormones until then).

However, I fall on the side of those who suspect that in bed one reaches a point where the wand falls out of the hand and gets lost -- and unless it's just a quick fuck against the wall, I think that the wand-by-the-wayside moment probably arrives before it's time for penetration. For this reason and because it just seems unwieldy and unsexy (but you are right that may only be because I'm a Muggle with no wand skill), I favour potions for lubrication.

I don't write Snape sex, but you've made me think about it now, so I'll offer that I think of Snape as being rather dismissive of wand-use. (In potions "there is little foolish wand-waving" he said on Harry's first day of Potions.) One could argue both sides from this starting point, of course. You could maintain that Snape's contempt for courses in which students wave wands is sour grapes because he can't get the DADA job he covets, so his statement about wands means nothing, so he's as likely as the next bloke to use a spell during sex -- or, you might note how much Snape obviously loves the art of potion-making (despite the rumours that he wants the DADA position), so it is easy to believe that Snape would wish to concoct his own lubricants (and/or birth-control draughts or fertility enhancers, etc.). It is also easy to believe that he would distrust any commercial preparation.

Bottom line: I don't much care what device a writer chooses to adopt as long as the story makes it seem logical (and, as we're talking about sex fic, I prefer that all such devices be included without breaking the scene's momentum).

[mortifyd.livejournal.com]

I definitely tent to have Snape using his own product in the privacy of his rooms... I can even see him carrying a bit with if he thinks he might get lucky, but then he's a picky bastard. *grin* OTOH, I had him use Black's wand on Black in a rape scene at #12, simply because it IS so dismissive. Why waste something good on someone he hates?

I agree that in the standard scheme of adolescent fumbling, the wand method might be a bit awkward... but then it just adds to the authenticity of teenaged sex if handled properly. It's not like they can whip up a batch of Snape's secret recipie in class and smuggle it out for their trysts in the Astronomy tower...

I think I just rambled off on the idea of why people would find a spell funny - as my brain often does. Either way works for me as long as it doesn't distract from the action.