I buried my mother 11 years ago and still feel the repercussions of her loss every day. There truly is no going back and the first year is the hardest since it's what I call the "Year Of Firsts." First Christmas without her, first birthday without her good wishes, first Mother's Day with no mother. By marginal inches it gets easier every year but you will be forever changed. Some changes will be bad and some will be, to your surprise, good. Mothers want their children to be taken care of so, if paying off debts would carry her sigh of relief floating to you on a breeze, then pay off your debts and know that you are deserving because your mother believed it to be true.

It really does get easier ... eventually.