i guess that's where we disagree: i concede that typically it's a sign of disrespect (or at least a more informal attitude than is proper toward one's parents), but i still think in the right context, used by the right person, it can be quite the opposite. plus, i kinda like the point Jedi made about differentiating between her and tobias.

on the other hand, of course, you have to write what you feel [within reason]. so if it's not natural in your mind -- whether or not it's realistic objectively -- you shouldn't write it that way.

so... yeah. "mother" would be my second choice, i guess. which seems to be pretty much what everyone else said.