3) You should find out his phone number and prank-call him whenever he starts. "Hi, do you need a refrigerator? No? We'll come get it, then."

4) People might have other reasons for being on, like waiting for their cowriters/betas to sign on. Or their mother. If I'm hiding, my cowriter/beta/mother might not know I'm there. If I'm offline, I won't know they're on. I generally think it's poor form to question other people's internets habits because you know somebody out there thinks everything you do is wrong, yanno?

5) I'd go broke within two days. :|